gigi2006 (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} gigi2006) wrote,@ 2007-09-12 02:13:00 |
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So.
This is hard for me.
Kitty is gone. Dad is deteriorating faster than his age is worthy. Yeah, I'm his kid. I'm supposed to find it wrong. Still, though, it is wrong. And I'm mad at him for being willing. So. I'm mad at me for being tied to the well-being of someone else. By this time, I should have a life of my own. My life went to Buffalo for the New Year. To be with his family. Son. Mother. He's not really my life. I'm mad at him for not being my life. So. I'm mad at me for taking this as my life. Sister out of town. Hate me for needing she who does not need. Me.
So. God calls to me this week and I will hide.
Melancholy.
And now my nose is bleeding.
This is hard for me.
Kitty is gone. Dad is deteriorating faster than his age is worthy. Yeah, I'm his kid. I'm supposed to find it wrong. Still, though, it is wrong. And I'm mad at him for being willing. So. I'm mad at me for being tied to the well-being of someone else. By this time, I should have a life of my own. My life went to Buffalo for the New Year. To be with his family. Son. Mother. He's not really my life. I'm mad at him for not being my life. So. I'm mad at me for taking this as my life. Sister out of town. Hate me for needing she who does not need. Me.
So. God calls to me this week and I will hide.
Melancholy.
And now my nose is bleeding.
